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The doctor called tonight. The mammogram didn’t go like I had hoped. There is something there and they don’t know what. Next week I will meet with the head Radiologist and get two spot specific mammograms and an ultrasound, then we will go from there.

I realize that it’s too early to freak out, that this is probably nothing, yet my heart has been hanging around in my throat since I hung up the phone. I’m always lumpy. It’s just a fibrous tissue mass. It’s not a big deal…and yet my mind is going all sorts of places that it shouldn’t.

I am a visual person. What I see plays a big part in how I feel, so it’s not surprising tonight that I find myself sitting here looking at pictures. I stumbled on one that took my breath away, in a good way.

This is my sweetheart of a nephew.

He makes me feel special… ok, that sounds creepy, let me explain. Bubba is my buddy. He has the brightest eyes and the biggest grin, but most of the time he gives the world the stink-eye. The kid can give “the look” better than an angry mother in church! Dude has talent. But, for some reason, he adores his Auntie M. Maybe my ELLA told him to be nice to me or else? Maybe I just have the best bribes, “Does Bubba want a peanut butter bar? Give Auntie a smile!” Whatever the reason, he is my little blue eyed kindred spirit and I am so incredibly grateful.

When I look at this photo, I’m reminded of the peace I feel when my little buddy and I are throwing rocks in the lake. I hear the beautiful sound of my nieces’ giggles or my nephew, C’s, squeal when the wind hits his face as we rush along down the ATV trail. I am reminded of the love I feel for my children as they sneak out of bed just to give me another kiss goodnight.

Suddenly, I feel strengthened.

Not because I am not scared, but because I realize that no matter what I face, I don’t face it alone.

 via Chalk Not

I don’t know what Tuesday will bring, but I refuse to let fear of the unknown get the best of me.

After all, the weekend starts tomorrow… Friday movie date with my man {Think I can talk him into watching Safe Haven?}, flea market, no schedules, Cabela’s, no school, a little DIY {wait until you see my bathroom!}, no trucking, and I don’t have to teach the lesson on Sunday.

Sounds pretty good to me.