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I shared a song that I love on my personal Facebook page this morning and within minutes I received a text from my mother that said she felt a blog post coming on. With her encouragement I’m taking a break from crafts, food, DIY, and adventure to share a bit of my heart today.
It was with deep sadness that I read Rory Feek’s blog on Friday and learned that his sweet “bride” was no longer responding to treatment for cancer and that they have chosen to go home, “Not to die. But to live.”
via The Boot
I fell in love with this country duo a few years back.
Their music speaks to my heart and the way they live there lives gives me confidence to live my own.
The love they have for their adorable little darling, Indy, gives me hope that more people on this planet will see and feel the beauty that the life of a person with special needs can bring.
In the last few days I have poured over Rory’s blog posts and watched every music video they’ve made.
This sweet woman is living my biggest fear and the thought that what she is experiencing could very well happen to me feels a little too real. (I’ve talked about what it’s like to have a genetic mutation for cancer HERE, HERE, and HERE.) I think I feel drawn to them because in a way, I can see myself in their shoes and it has made me search my heart.
Music has always been a vital part of my every day journey and when I struggle, I turn to it for strength, clarity, and comfort. I have had 2 of Joey+Rory’s songs on repeat the last little while and they have helped me work through some thoughts that I didn’t know I needed to process.
My Relationship with my Husband
One of the things that always stands out to me about Rory and Joey is their love for each other and how much they show it. I love the look in their eyes when they sing together and I sigh like a schoolgirl when he calls her his “bride”.
My relationship with my husband is somewhat different than that. We can be hard on each other and we are very independent. I guess we’ve kind of had to be to survive in a world of big rigs and cross country trips. My husband isn’t big on PDA and over the last 14 years things have definitely changed from those lovey dovey dating days.
I love my sweetheart with all my being, and I know inside that he feels the same way but, I dare say, we’ve got some work to do.
I was born to be his woman, there is no one else I’d rather be with and no where else I’d rather be than by his side.
It’s time for a regular date night, like we were counseled when we were wed. It’s time to go to bed at the same time and not always be on opposite ends of the house. It’s time for more hand holding. It’s time to push the kids out from in between us so we can sit side by side on Sundays in the church pew.
And, it’s even time to embarrass our tweens with a little more kissing and carrying on.
If my life was ever ended early, I would want my man to know without a shadow of a doubt that I wouldn’t have had our love story any other way, that I gave him my all, and that I loved him fiercely.
My Relationship with Myself
The last few years of health battles have changed me.
Losing my hearing and sinuses to my immune system, saying goodbye to thoughts of another child, healing from surgery, fighting constant cysts, hormone imbalances, lumps/nothings, and fatigue have made me value health a lot more than I ever did before. It’s also made me think more on the person I am and who I want to be.
Have you ever wondered what would be said of you at your funeral?
Who you would be remembered as?
Well, when you have a nickel sized lump in your breast or a grapefruit growing on your ovary, thoughts like that sometimes come to mind.
I’m happy to say, that these experiences have softened me. They’ve made me gentler, more thoughtful, and I hope kinder too. I’ve realized that the most important thing I want for myself is to live a life filled with as much love and joy as I possibly can. So, instead of doing what others want me to or instead of following the crowd, I’ve been slowly turning to what my Father wants for me. My prayers have become more regular and my blessings have become more vivid in my mind’s eye. I’ve become more confident in myself and in my God. I still have a lot of rough edges to grind down and years of work to do, but I know now who I want to be and that is a wonderful gift.
I want to be known as loving wife, who is proud of, always there for, and champions her sweetheart.
A mother who instills happiness, creativity, hope, and love into the lives of her children… the kind of mother who gives her children roots AND wings.
I want to be real and authentic.
A true and loyal friend, who makes others feel good.
A sister who is always there when her siblings need her and a daughter who brightens her parents’ day.
A supporter, a lifter, a voice for good.
A creator of music, light, and handmade things.
A fixer, a do-er, a strong, dependable, skilled, in the trenches with knees deep in the mud hard worker.
A woman of faith, who delights in the simple things like crisp mountain air, a fresh garden tomato, art, belly laughs, old wood, vintage hankies, relationships, guitar strings, and baby toes.
I want a cup that runneth over with the people, places, and things that are most precious to my soul.
A life that’s good… and “That’s Important to Me”
Joey+Rory were scheduled to perform this Thursday at Cowboy Poetry.
They’ve cancelled all their other concerts, but Rory has decided to still come here with his daughter, Heidi to put on the show. My boy and I will be in attendance, cheering them on. Joey will never know that her struggles and her triumphs had an impact on me, but I sure do. Her confidence, faith, and hope are inspiring and the legacy she will leave this earth is a most grace-filled and beautiful one.
If you are in Utah and would like to support this sweet couple, come to the show this Thursday night at 7pm. If you can’t make it, please keep this family in your prayers. At times like these, every little heartfelt thought counts.
*What is important to you?*