No, no! Don’t read the title and freak out.
Yes, talking to our kids about sex is intimidating but it doesn’t have to be heart attack inducing!
This last year, I’ve watched my two oldest rapidly grow up. My 11 year old is 6 feet tall and now weighs more than I do and my oldest daughter is getting cute little curves. Both are experiencing changes to their bodies that they don’t know what to think about from hair in weird places to smelly feet and armpits.
My husband and I decided when our babies were tiny that we wanted to be open and honest with our kids about that intimidating topic of sexual intimacy. We wanted to be the source our kids got their information from, and we wanted them to always feel safe bringing us their questions. When the kids were little, it was easy to talk about their simple little thoughts, but as they have gotten older things have gotten a little more tricky. We are parenting in a digital/technology filled world and that can either help or hinder us in building a strong foundation of knowledge.
A few months ago, my son was playing a game called Roblox on the computer. I didn’t know much about it, but knew that a ton of other boys played it and figured it was fine. When dinner was ready I called my son in to eat and he left the game site open on the computer, thinking he would be right back to playing after dishes were done. After dinner he got busy with a school project and forgot to close out of the game, so there it sat open on our computer all night long.
The next morning at about 4am, I woke up with the distinct prompting to go and check the computer.
As I came down the stairs, my home felt dark and a sick feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. I entered the office and pulled the computer from sleep mode. There on the screen was pornographic image upon pornographic image, each more disgusting than the last. I went into maternal panic mode. What had happened? As I closed out pop ups galore I found the only website that was actually open was to my son’s game, then I called and woke up my programmer brother who was able to determine that the filth that now infested my computer had come through the open browser from inside the free gaming site. My brother and I then began the task of clearing and cleaning my computer.
Much like the wolf who laid in wait for Little Red Riding Hood had tried to trick her with something familiar… deceitful, cunning men and women, hoping parents aren’t paying attention, target and snare children through simple innocent looking online games.
This mama was now awake and she was angry.
They can not have my children.
The last few months, my husband and I have talked a lot with our kids about sex, pornography, and intimacy. With a background in Health Education that included the most detailed Sex Ed class on the planet (not to mention working in a class of preteens while 9 months pregnant, which pretty much cured me of my wanting to teach said preteens ever again.) I felt pretty prepared. But, as I talked with friends and family I realized that a lot of parents aren’t just intimidated to talk to their kids about sex, they are downright petrified. On a personal Facebook post, a friend of mine asked me for resources that she could use to teach her children and so the search began. About a month after that, I was given the opportunity to read several books on teaching children about sex so I thought I’d share my thoughts on these books with you.
The books I received to review are from Educate and Empower Kids, you can check out there great website HERE.
Educate and Empower Kids is “Comprised of parents and professionals, the mission of Educate and Empower Kids (EEK) is to encourage youth to develop a healthy sexuality through education, empowerment, communication and love. As a nonprofit 501(c)(3), EEK works across the country to provide essential resources for parents and educators to teach children and teenagers about the dangers of online pornography and simple, straight forward solutions for talking about its opposite: healthy sexual intimacy.”
I LOVED this video off their website…
The 3 books they sent me are part of their 30 Days of Sex Talks series.
There is a book for ages 3-7, one for 8-11, and another for ages 12 and up. Each book is very well put together and easily understood. There are instructions for parents, talking points, definitions, and even sample questions to get your mind going. The books are colorful and informative. But, what I love most is that they allow YOU to craft your own discussions based on YOUR child and YOUR beliefs. That is hard to come by in books about such a sensitive subject.
These books are designed to help parents slowly, over time, and with a layered effect, teach their children about healthy sexuality. They allow you to teach as much and as fast as works for you and your child. But, more than anything I think they help parents get thinking about the world these children are living in, what they are faced with, and empower parents to take control of who is teaching who.
Gone are the days of telling kids that sex is dirty and bad, and leaving it at that. Sex is not dirty or bad, with the right person at the right time it can be a most beautiful and connecting experience. We can no longer check our child out of health class during the sex ed lessons and then teach them nothing but “don’t” then hope they figure it out on their wedding night.
At some point, your child is going to start dating, maybe receive a horribly graphic sext, or even find your computer infested with Satan’s army before you do. Will your children know what to do and will they trust you enough to ask for help? It’s up to us as parents to teach, strengthen, comfort, and guide our little ones.
If we don’t teach them, who will?
If you are scared and don’t know where or how to start talking to your child about sex, I highly recommend this book series… and a whole lot of prayer. ;) Let’s take back our parental power and teach our children before pornography ever gets the chance to.
Have courage, learn, listen, and empower.
You’ve got this!
P.S. I was given these books in exchange for a review, but all opinions are my own.
I liked the books and wanted to share.