I have never in my life wanted to be grounded.
It just sounds like a bad thing. My spirit is naturally free. I’m one of those women, who as a little girl was always daydreaming. I wanted to be anything and everything all at once. I had more energy than a bottle of Red Bull and felt like I had wings. There was so much to learn and life was just waiting for me to discover it. That little green eyed girl grew up, and yet somehow her spirit stayed the same. I still crave learning. My spirit still searches for adventure and my mind still wanders. I’m always late because there are always 10 more things that I can cram into an hour. I can’t sit still and waiting is insanity. It’s fair to say that I never inherited patience, because well, I guess the Lord gave that all to my brother. I’m creative, vivacious, a storyteller, a dreamer, a little brassy, and sometimes too much for people to take. I guess in a way, I have always been a gypsy, never staying in one moment, place, or thought too long.
I’ve always liked it…who I was…how I flew…
until I became a mother.
You see, I have four children, four wonderful little souls. One handsome man-child and three gorgeous, feisty she-devils. They are fun, spunky, smart, beautiful, and incredibly loud. They are my life’s purpose. They are the reason I was put on this earth. They make me see beyond myself. And their daddy, he, is the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
Yep, I am a very lucky girl.
Yet, I find myself feeling lost amongst my flightiness. What I once treasured in myself as unique and free, I now see as a heavy chain to my family. I forget, I fly off course, I get moody, and most of the time, I frustrate everyone around me. I’m constantly running, spinning, and flapping around with nothing to show for my effort, other than a thousand things half done.
My wings need clipping…
As a teenager, my mama told me that the greatest gift she could give me was “roots and wings”. I naturally had the wings, they came from my daddy, but it’s the roots that I’m still trying to grow. My mother has roots. She is rooted in everything she does. She is strong, capable, and steady. She’s a peacemaker, kind, knows who she is, and where she should be headed. Even in the most crazy times in life, when everything crashes down, she finds her bearings and pulls herself and everyone else together. I’ve always admired her for that. Her roots are what holds my family in place. What keeps us grounded.
So, maybe, my wings don’t need to be clipped after all. Maybe, I just need to develop the roots that can steady myself and my family, while my wings hold us high. How? I’m not sure, but I’m about to begin a journey to find out. I want to be the kind of mother that my children will be proud of. The wife that can support and adore her husband, even as he travels miles away. The daughter who can be there for her parents when they need her, and the sister who can still bring sunshine, but also hope, and peace. I’m not sure where this journey will take me, or how long it will last, but the gypsy in me is excited for the adventure and the opportunity to learn.
Wish me luck.